Last week: 7-9
Houston Texans 24 New England Patriots 27
Never bet against the hoodie. It seems like the more the odds are stacked against Bill Belichick, the better his team performs. He may be down to his third string passer, but his God tier level of game planning will propel the Pats to 3-0.
Arizona Cardinals 31 Buffalo Bills 23
Another week, another game where the Buffalo defense underperforms. After surrendering 37 points to the over the hill gang last week, the Bills give up 31 to the slightly less over the hill gang this week.
Oakland Raiders 28 Tennessee Titans 20
The mystery as to why the handsomely paid Oakland secondary has been nonexistent is finally solved! After spending the first two weeks looking poor against two of the more talented receiving cores in the league, the Raiders secondary finally plays as well as it’s paid against the Titans and their average receiving core.
Washington 24 New York Giants 30
It’s the match up that sports writers everywhere have been drooling over since Josh Norman jumped ship over to his best buddy, Odell Beckham Jr.’s division. Big Blue’s victory comes down to simple math: New York fields three legit receivers and Washington only has one Josh Norman.
Cleveland Browns 6 Miami Dolphins 23
The Dolphins carry their second half momentum from last week into this week and pick up their first win of the season. Brown’s rookie qb, Cody Kessler, will be running for his life against one of the most fierce front sevens in football.
Baltimore Ravens 26 Jacksonville Jaguars 16
After showing promise in their week one loss to the Packers, the Jaguars fell off a cliff and into a 35-0 hole last week in San Diego. Things don’t get much better this week as new BFF’s Joe Flacco and Mike Wallace terrorize the Jags defense all day and make head coach Gus Bradley’s seat a little toastier.
Detroit Lions 27 Green Bay Packers 24
Detroit’s tough defense and new-look offense drops Green Bay to 1-2, which ironically is a good thing for the cheese heads. Rodgers can tell Packers Nation to R-E-L-A-X then spend the rest of the season playing like the bad man that he is.
Denver Broncos 26 Cincinnati Bengals 20
The No Fly Zone gets it done again with a late pick to seal the win, making this Broncos team feels really similar to last years Super Bowl squad. They won’t get much done on offense but it’ll be enough to squeeze past the Bengals.
Minnesota Vikings 24 Carolina Panthers 31
These two teams are more alike than you’d think. What will prove to be the deciding factor in this one is each qb’s ability to avoid pressure. Bradford is a sitting duck when facing pressure while Cam might just be the best ever at evading rushers. Without Adrian Peterson to lean on, Bradford is going to have to move the ball down field by himself, which is a tall order against the defending NFC champs.
Los Angeles Rams 9 Tampa Bay Buccaneers 27
Jameis Winston bounces back from his awful game against the Cards by tossing three touchdowns, two of which go to Mike Evans. Meanwhile, the Rams finally show some consistency by only scoring nine points in back to back weeks. #babysteps
San Francisco 49ers 13 Seattle Seahawks 26
Seattle’s offense stays dormant for a third straight week; however a dormant Seattle offense is still plenty good enough to coast to a W. A late Gabbert-to-McDonald touchdown keeps this from being a 20 point blowout.
New York Jets 30 Kansas City Chiefs 20
Outside of Marcus Peters, the Chiefs don’t have play makers at corner, which proves to be a problem against Brandon Marshall and company. Marshall and Decker both finish the day with over 100 yards and a TD.
San Diego Chargers 34 Indianapolis Colts 28
Philip Rivers gets some serious Offensive Player of the Year buzz after another four touchdown no interception game. His quarterback counterpart, Andrew Luck, still makes splash plays but, with no team around him, ultimately comes up short.
Pittsburgh Steelers 38 Philadelphia Eagles 10
The Carson Wentz performance we have all been expecting finally comes. After looking great against two pushovers, Wentz looks like small school rookie quarterback he is against the Steelers.
Chicago Bears 13 Dallas Cowboys 30
Does Chicago stand a chance against the Cowboys? Technically yes, there’s always a chance. Although, seeing how Bid D is better at almost every level on both offense and defense, they’re at home, and Brian freaking Hoyer is starting for the Bears, I’d say they don’t have a chance.
Atlanta Falcons 28 New Orleans Saints 27
The Saint’s secondary is extremely banged up so you best believe Matt Ryan and Julio Jones are going to be airing it out all night. Jones has a career night while sending New Orleans to the cellar of the NFC south.